by Kagami Smile

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You screamed into the void as I reached out your hand.

I felt you slip away into the void.

You fell into an endless night.

My dreams have been scaring me awake.

I look out at the leftover tears of rain imprinted on the glass window.

Echo of your voice from deep down, soaking up roots into the concrete.

You call me awake from dreams.

I look at the pelted rainfall flowing down.

Your tears turn into a holographic memory.

I see it as a pass by a street corner looking at the building across the way.

You disappear into fragments of a screen.

I think words to say, they appear to you.

But I am talking with a ghost.

I ask you about your echo, I only hear the remnant of it.

I punch open a glass window sometimes to see my bloodied hands.

I dream that I am falling into solitude into a deep hole underneath the concrete.

You dissect and rip open my brain at night and leave imprints of your footsteps there.

I hear a faint whisper as text appears across my view; you stumble to me, an apparition that I can see through.

You appear for an instant and wilt away simultaneously.

I ask you about how to find the void.

We disappear through a hole in the wall and float through the ever-glistening rain.

You take me away, a room without a view.

A room of the deep blue.

A hand feeds me a pill and I lapse into the state of you.

I watch buildings crumble into ruin with only you left over, floating above me, reaching out for your hand.

Screaming from the void, I watch my tears pelt away the dying rain as they sink into the self-contained skyline and melt away into the cracks of the past.

I feel my mind lapse into a reverie of a half-imagined moment.

You are there floating above me screaming from the void, reaching out your hand into something that isn’t real—longing to feel something that is perceived as real but isn’t.

I lapse into a stillness of reverie of a dead moment.

You bring me into your dream and I float around inside.

Aware that I am dreaming but am also alive.

I perceive time as an abstraction.

I imagine the towering inferno before me of the city keeping your secrets.

You have melted away as a holograph.

My memories have melted into holographs but you keep them with you.

Scaring me awake from dreams.

This endless breath that punctures the artificial oxygen of the air.

Your endless whispers scaring me awake at night.

Lapsing me in dreams.

Making me question what is real and what isn’t real.

I spend too much dead time these days staring into a screen waiting for your outline to appear, but my wishes are unmet, only being washed away in static.

I hear the white noise perforating the sky and I look at the rainfall at night only to see that you have become a ghost gone away and vanished into a memory, and that perhaps I have also become a ghost searching in this artificial time.

I awake from screaming into the void.

I have become a ghost that has faded away into the void.

I count the minutes of perceived time.

I look at my hand indentations on the glass world and find that I am nothing but a holograph like you. You left your love away, hidden in secrets buried inside a hole in the concrete.

They take root there but cannot escape.

I long to find them so I spend missed time staring at a dead screen of static waiting for them to appear.

I only find that I have become a ghost, and you wither away with each memory’s passing.


released February 2, 2020


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